Some things that might not ever happen in Naruto,
by Purplecherry5
Summary: Here's just a random list of things that just might not happen in the naruto series! NOT ANTI ANY CHARACTERS! Ok? Cracked:twoshot. Rated for suggestive themes.
1. Funny

AN: I really don't know what motorized me to do this, but I just have to! Again, this is not anti- any character!

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OK! I think every body knows what the Naruto characters think, love, hate, and do. BUT. What if those things just got,.. switched? Or what-ever. Let's just list what we hope should happen or not, shall we?

1.)Naruto decides he hates ramen, and doesn't care if he never becomes the Hokage.

2.)Naruto starts to go all gothic, and burns his orange jumpsuit.

3.)Sasuke is in a happy mood all day.( Ok, so some of us want to see that,..)

4.)Sasuke decides that avenging is over-rated, and decides to show all his real feelings.

5.)Sakura hates the color pink, and likes the color green, there for going out with Rock Lee( cough broccoli cough)(( no offense to all those Rock Lee+Sakura lovers!))

6.)Sakura says she so sorry about Ino's hair, and they paint each other's nails.

7.)Kakashi is on time.

8.)Kakashi puts down his 'rainy-day-fun-book'for a whole day.

That's Team Kakashi, let's go one to Team Gai!!!!!!

9.)Gai and Kakashi make a truce, and become GREAT friends.

10.)Gai lets go of the whole spandex thing.

11.)Rock Lee says, "Forget Gai, I want my OWN personality!"

12.)Rock Lee plays poker against Neji, and wins.

13.)Neji gets a hair cut.

14.)Neji says sorry to Hinata, and goes on with life with a smile.

15.)Ten Ten gets a last name.

16.)Ten Ten lets down her hair.

Team Asuma!

17.)Asuma gets rid of the gawd-dang cigarette!

18.)Asuma shaves his beard.

19.)Choji goes on a diet, and no one told him too.

20.)Choji gets a better hair-do, and gets a REAL head band.

21.)Ino dies her hair pink to match Sakura's.

22.)Ino hates Sasuke and gets a life.

23.)Shikamaru wins a marathon.

24.)Shikamaru loses to Ino in a Shoji game.

Team Kurenai,

25.)Kurenai decides to not put on make-up on, and it's on own her free will.

26.)Kurenai thinks Gai is hot, and goes out with him.

27.)Hinata forgets Naruto, and dates Shino (Sorry all those Hinata+ Shino lovers).

28.)Hinata flicks off Neji someday, and stops stuttering.

29.)Shino takes off his glasses.

30.)Shino buys a bottle of bug killer.

31.)Kiba kicks Akamaru, and likes cats better.

32.)Kiba gets rid of those fangs looking symbols, plus takes off his jacket for a day.

Now who can forget the sand team?!?!? Team Baki!

33.)Baki uncovers the rest of his face.

34.)Temari puts her hair in ONE ponytail!

35.)Temari gets rid of her fan, and just uses a kunai.

36.)Kankuro takes off that whole black out-fit.

37.)Kankuro gets rid of his puppets, and uses Barbie dolls.

38.)Gaara goes to sleep, and dreams of fluffy pink bunnies!

39.)Gaara gets rid of his gourd, and uses a pail and shovel.

Tehehe,… you gotta love these cracked stories,...

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AN: Again, that was fun to write! Remember, no flames, cuz' it's not anti- any character!! Hope you laughed at something, cuz ' my friend Lindz (Lindsay) just cracked up when she read it! Now I'm off to go see if I can get a Gaara and Sakura, and Sasuke plushie toy! .


	2. Funnier

AN: OMG! People LIKED IT! So in that case, it's going to be a two-shot!!! Time to pick on some other people, (grins evilly)((Friends Tiffany and Kimberly back away slowly))

DISCLAIMER: I own Naruto,……….as in the plush toy!

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Willy-wonka, do I love to tease, and make lists or what? But hey! I have some good reasons and points! And you know they're true! So let's continue our list of things that will(not) happen in the Naruto series!

1.)Tsunade tells the truth,...she got breast implants.

2.)Tsunade goes to an AA meeting.

3.)Shizune kills Ton Ton, and makes pork rinds.

4.)Shizune gets drunk with Tsunade and goes and rapes Kakashi.

5.)Jiraiya goes into the middle of the town, and shouts, "GIRLS HAVE COOTIES!"

6.)Jiraiya and Kakashi both burn ALL of the Icha Icha Paradise novels.

Cuz' I did Jiraiya and Tsunade, let's give Orchimaru his own private list,…

7.)Orchimaru stops using white power make-up for one day.

8.)Orchimaru tells Sasuke that he's free, and he stops trying to be a friggen pervert and take over his body. (shivers)

9.)Orchimaru goes to Sarutubi's funeral and cries in the lost of his sensei.

10.)Orchimaru tells Kabuto that they are going to the 'light side', and return to Konoha.

11.)Orchimaru goes straight.

Ok, ok, let's back to other people!

12.)Anko puts on a non-revealing shirt,….

13.)Anko puts down the food and candy for once!

14.)Ibiki smiles, laughs, and is nice all in ONE DAY!!!

15.)Ibiki tells a prisoner, "Ok, if you tell me a secret, I'll tell mine, it's that I sleep with a pink fluffy bear."

16.)Iruka acts like Sasuke(aka ice cold bastard) to all of the kids at the academy.

17.)Iruka gets tired of the kids asking him where he got his nose scar, and yell, "FINE, FINE! I'LL SHOW YOU THE TRUTH!" And takes it off, it had been a sticker the whole time!

18.)Konohamaru gets rid of that stupid hat. (Where did it come from anyways?! O.o)

19.)Konohamaru tells Naruto off, and eats more ramen than him, making Naruto praise him.

Now for some people who scare me, and it's not cuz' of how strong they are,..

20.)Itachi skips up to Sasuke, gives him a hug, and tells him, "For all of those birthdays I missed, here's a bottle of nail polish!"

21.)Itachi gets a hair cut, and starts wearing pink mini skirts. (I am soo scarred now,.)

22.)Haku flicks Zabuza off, and starts acting and sounding like a guy.

23.)Haku and Zabuza get married, and SOMEHOW have kids,…..

24.)Zabuza uncovers what the heck is under those bandages and stops wearing those overalls,..eww.

25.)Zabuza befriends Kakashi, and gives him all his weapons.

WOW, now some of those were just plain-flat-down-scary and WRONGE!(cough The Itachi one cough) But that's why you read it, no? BUT WAIT! I HAVE ONE MORE!

26.)Orchimaru gets a GUY voice!

Ok, all done now!

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AN: Tehehe, I just HAD TO add that last one,.. Hope yall' liked it! That's the last one, so don't hope for anymore. Gomen. Remember, no flames, cuz' it's not anti- any character!! But thankz for reading! But if you really liked it,…you'd review!

Thankz to my other reviewers,.. yall' deserve a cookie!

Muse of myself: There you go! Hope you like this chapter as much as the last!!!!!! And you liked the fact you got an alert for this story!!

WolfDemonLinz: Here you do Lindsay!! Lol, happy, I wrote more! ; )

Crystalized Rain: Extra, extra! I wrote more! Hope you like it! And yes, Ino dying her hair pink for Sakura's sake is pretty funny. Ha-ha!

**Purplecherry5. Naoko-chan**


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